Ever noticed how commands like "Don't enter," "Don't mess up," or "Don't lose" can backfire?
Ironically, the more you try to resist or avoid something, the higher the chance you'll do exactly that.
What you resist persists.
Let's dive into exactly why this happens:
Ironic Process Theory:
So, Daniel Wegner came up with this idea that when we try to suppress a thought, two things happen in our head:
Monitoring Process: Your brain is like a detective looking for that thought you're trying not to think about, just to make sure it's not there. This process actively searches for any sign of the suppressed thought, which ironically keeps it at the forefront of your consciousness.
Operating Process: This one's trying to distract you or replace that thought with something else. It's the part of your mind that engages in other activities or thoughts to fill the mental space where the unwanted thought would reside. However, if this process is not robust enough, or if you're under stress, the monitoring process can take over, causing the thought to bounce back even stronger.
And this leads me to the next thing...
The White Bear Problem:
In a classic experiment, people were told not to think about a white bear. Guess what happened? They thought about it even more! It shows how not thinking about something can actually make it stronger and stick in your mind.
I've utilized this concept in my work with clients to illustrate how forceful thought suppression can actually be counterproductive. Once this principle is understood, we explore alternative strategies:
Like Detached Mindfulness: Here, clients learn that sometimes, the most effective response is inaction, allowing thoughts to pass through the mind without engagement or resistance. This technique teaches the mind to observe thoughts passively, acknowledging them without judgment, much like watching clouds drift by in the sky. By not engaging with these thoughts, they often lose their intensity and fade away. You can delve deeper into this practice here.
The Rebound Effect:
Then there's what happens after you've tried to suppress a thought or behaviour; it often comes back with a vengeance, stronger than before.
In trading, telling yourself "Don't mess up" can actually crank up the anxiety because it's all about not failing, which can lead to the very failure you're trying to avoid.
So what are some other ways to help overcome this?
Well here are some practical tips...
Mindfulness and Acceptance: As mentioned previously mindfulness is a great technique, instead of wrestling with those unwanted thoughts, mindfulness says, "Hey, let's just accept them." By not judging them, you lessen their hold on you. Mindfulness teaches us to treat thoughts as transient events, allowing them to come and go without attachment, which can significantly reduce their emotional impact.
Reframing Instructions: Flip the script from "Don't lose" to something like "Focus on winning" or "Do your best." It's about setting a positive goal rather than avoiding a negative one. This reframing shifts your mental orientation from fear of failure to a pursuit of success, which can be more motivating and less anxiety-inducing. More on this here
Paradoxical Intention: This quirky idea from Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy suggests you should wish for what you fear. It's about disarming fear by not fighting it but rather embracing it with humor or indifference. By exaggerating the fear in a light-hearted way, you might find that the fear itself starts to seem less intimidating, thus reducing its grip on your psyche.
Conclusion:
Our minds just don't play nice with negation. When we're told not to do something, our attention zeroes in on it. So, what can we do?
Well, focusing on what we should do, accepting thoughts as they come, and understanding resistance can backfire, we start to manage our thoughts and actions better.
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About Alan
Alan Edward (aka The Divergent Trader) is an impactful speaker, author and high performance expert. A Full Time Trader by profession. Alan is the founder and CEO of Divergent Trader a private financial firm that educates, coaches and supports traders.
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